Feeling the Future
Relaxing on my back patio one lazy hot July afternoon my text alert pinged, “This is it! You won’t be hearing from me for several months.” Because it was from a particular friend, it carried a context. We’d encouraged each other’s fantasies around the notion of leaving our careers in politics to follow some crazy dream. He didn’t end up going anywhere, but his text sent my imagination to another world.
After eight years of growing through my grief and redefining myself, I was literally living the best life I’d thought possible. I’d built a great career, bought a house on my own, enjoyed a fun circle of friends, and sat in the best financial position ever. But...this text created an overwhelming sense of envy in me. In that moment, I let go of all barriers real or imagined, and allowed myself to dream up what I’d be doing if I’d been the one bouncing out.
It turns out my fantasy life looked like kicking it on a tropical island, putting my passions to good use. I may have still been physically sitting on my back patio in Boise Idaho but I felt like I’d landed in the tropics doing something that made my heart skip a beat with excitement.
You may have a growing curiosity about your future. You’ve done enough work to understand you can honor your child by feeling good and living with purpose and meaning.
What you don’t necessarily have is a roadmap to discovering what this dream future could look like. Shoot, it’s hard for most people to figure out what they’d really like to do with their lives. There’s a whole industry of courses and coaches dedicated to helping people with the process.
This is one area where a bereaved parent may actually have a leg up on everyone else. You’ve felt and experienced the worst life has to offer. You’ve dug deep into yourself and your pain, and you’re coming out the other side.
Having gone through such a refining fire, you have clarity about what matters and what doesn’t. You may just need help and permission to think beyond the ordinary and what is, imagining what could be.
Feeling Your Future gives you permission to tap into your creative juices and special calling. You’ll feel what resonates with your natural talents, interests, and the core of who you are becoming. I invite you to do some deliberate daydreaming by:
● Reviewing your top three values/priorities in life as they really are right now
● Think about what feels good in your present life
● Acknowledge all of the barriers, then ignore them for this activity to prevent self censorship then answer:
○ “If I had it all my way I would be…”
○ Describe what a typical day would look and feel like
○ Who and what would you be surrounded by?
My process on that patio felt clear and immediate. In hindsight I recognize it came after years of periodically pondering and playing over scenarios in my head. Chances are, whether it be consciously or unconsciously, grieving parents have done the same through their grieving process.
Once I had the vision, completing the change in course from my Boise patio to landing on Kaua’i with four pieces of luggage and my dog took a year and half. Now that you’ve transported yourself into a place of infinite possibilities, you can start making small changes to direct your boat towards your destination full of hope and joy.
